


Against all odds

by Mantisza



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Dominance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Loss of Virginity, Romance, Submission, Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:53:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 14,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23955658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mantisza/pseuds/Mantisza
Summary: A woman from a planet unknown. Defying the laws of the force with nothing but her very existence.She's barely learning to live in this new, foreign galaxy and she's already teaching two men lessons of love.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren/Reader, Armitage Hux/Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 25
Kudos: 82





	1. Chapter 1

Forcing my sore eyes open, I hauled my body up from the hard, cold unforgiving floor. My vertebrae clicked violently yet satisfyingly into place, the wall supporting my leaning body with steadfast loyalty.  
My eyelids resisted, the foreign brightness of the room was overpowering and harsh. I scratched at my neck and attempted to lick the dryness of my lips away - my throat was aching and parched, swallowing back was a task too difficult.  
A low humming resonance consumed my ears - that and nothing else.  
Finally adjusting to the ruthless lights, my vision was met with looming grey panels bordered with a darker grey frame.  
Grey? GREY? Where on Earth was I?  
This was no where close to the warm comfort of my room where the sun would peep through the curtains playfully to coax me out of my soft and loving bed.  
I attempted to scramble upright but my legs buckled underneath me, the numb and weak feeling battling my racing need to get up.  
My heart was rapid and relentless, I could feel it beating against the walls of my chest like a gorilla against the glass walls of a zoo. The palms of my hand, clammy with anxiety and stress - I pressed them against my chest to compress and calm my relentless heart.  
Kidnapped? Was I kidnapped? No way, I'd be tethered in ropes and tape and whatnot, wouldn't I? Right?  
Drunken night out? Maybe. Maybe. Just a bad night out... A one night stand maybe...  
But I'm fully clothed.. and it's my work scrubs - the bright surgical scrubs a reminder of what I was doing before this. This incident.  
Crawling on to my hands and knees, I found the strength to heave myself on to my feet- my knees still threatening to collapse but every second they got stronger and more confident.  
To the right a wide and tall entry - no hinges nor handles. I was bewildered, even sliding doors have handles.  
Hesitantly, I edged towards it and when I got within a metre of it, it slid outwards with a small rush of air escaping.  
A long winding corridor met me - it was so well lit that it seemed like a movie set.  
I felt nervous, I didn't know what lied beyond but I also knew I couldn't remain here.  
I walked through and came towards a larger corridor, this one was inhabited.  
Peeping around the corner I could see tall whit armoured figures walked along it. I froze - should I sneak past or should I ask them where I was. If I sneaked past, what if I get more lost but if I asked them for help what if they hurt me. But they could he- 'OI!'  
A figure in the same armoured suit bellowed at me- walking towards me with incredible speed, their gun held tight and towards my general direction.  
Their heads looked like rounded and blown up skulls, staying perfectly still and emotionless as they marched menacingly towards me.  
My legs under me started moving, carrying the rest of me away. I ran so fast - through the corridor randomly turning to any corridor. I didn't know where I was but I didn't know where I was to begin with anyways. I came across the white armoured figures again, then lesuirely walking towards me. Were they the same ones? Or different ones?  
I'm not gonna take that chance - I slid into another hall way. This one leading to a larger more busier one.  
It was nothing like I'd seen before - more looming and well lit grey panels but this time the hallway was so large. Where the fuck was I? Surely this was a lucid dream - I pinched my self in the leg. Nope, all too real.  
"THERE." The voice rang through the air."Get her Alive!"  
Once again I was on the run - I was tired and lagging behind. Definitely slower than before. Hands flying from my sides to the pockets of my waist bag. Scissors - I always kept a pair incase I needed them - not to hurt anyone. It's not like these scissors would do anything for goodness sakes, it had rounded tips.  
My phone- I couldn't use that right now.  
My hand came out of my waist bag - now's not the time.  
I looked up to see a another door exit. I sped and slammed against it - my body slumping down like a sandbag. It didn't open. My head and heart thumped as the white soldiers arrived, their footsteps coming to a halt. Embarresment and fear heating up my body.  
I was grabbed, my hands wound behind my body - their grip solid and firm.  
Now I was really kidnapped.  
I couldn't process anything - my mind blank, my feet begrudgingly moving for me.  
We walked for what seemed hours - miles and miles of tiled floors. The floor was shiny and pristine- I could almost see my own eyes tearing up. If this definitely wasn't a dream, what was it?  
With a shove I was on the floor - again. We were like separated lovers - constantly meeting abruptly and unexpectedly.  
"Look what the cat dragged in." A snarky voice projected towards me. "Perhaps the resistances' personal medic."  
I slowly looked up, my eyes climbing up leather boots, a long coat, gloved hands and finally a pale man. His hair was a soft ginger and slicked back. HIs face sharp but soft, he looked worn and tired but it bought character to his face and made him handsome - if I wasn't in this comprising state I could probably even say I'd swipe right.  
"What?" I panicked. Resistance? Resistance against what? I definitely did not want to fight this man and what seemed like an army of armed men. That would be inside. "Resistance? I don't even know where I am, please."  
"Don't act dumb - it'll get you nowhere." He leaned in closer sneering, his hand gripped my lower jaw carefully. "Why are you here?"  
"I don't even know where I am.." I whispered, glancing into his muted green eyes - searching for some sympathy. Anything to keep me on his good side.  
"I'll entertain you and remind you." The man let go of me and stepped back. "Starkiller. Does that sound familiar?"  
"No... Sir." I looked down again. What the fuck? Starkiller? This made absolutely no sense. Of course.  
"This is a prank right?" I giggled. "Starkiller? This army? You guys got me, okay. Can we stop now?"  
"You think this is a joke?" The tall man stepped towards me with such voialition that I instinctively braced myself. "The first order is no joke- you know what is a joke? Your pile of shit resistance. Why would they send a stupid medic on? Maybe it's your disguise."  
Definitely not a prank then.   
"I'm not a medic. Not ones for people anyways." I revealed.  
"Then what?" He bent down. "What else could you possibly be a medic for?"  
"I'm a vet." I looked up.  
"So you are a soldier then. Are you stupid?" His eyes in disbelief at the presumed stupidity I was displaying.  
"No. No. I'm a vet - a Veterinarian. I work.. with animals. Mainly small animals but also horses." I stuttered. Surely I was neutral enough to not pose any harm. Whatever resistance he was talking about probably didn't have a need for someone like me -right?  
He sighed and took a step back.  
"They've sent a crazy. They've sent a crazy this time. Is this some sort of new training?" He looked down at me. "Whatever their doing, it's not gonna work. I'm sending Commander Ren for you."  
This wasn't looking up for me.  
  



	2. Chapter Two

I jolted up right only to go no where - I was bound to something. My body ached. The cool metal against my legs and arms stung. I was working up a cold sweat - fear gripping me tight. I looked around as much as I could - I was in a black room, dimly lit with white lights. It was sleep and elegant - for a room I didn't want to be in.  
"Hux tells me you're a Vet." A deep distorted voice resonates in the dark room. "Care to explain?"  
"I.. uh." My voice croaked - damn, I was thirsty. I spoke into the emptiness of the room "I work with animals at an animal hospital."  
I was met with silence. Whoever these people were had never heard of my very common job - odd.  
"Where am I?" I spoke again - scared to know how he would react.   
"Hux already told you." The voice replied back. It was almost mechanic - static. I couldn't explain it.   
"What city? What country? Where's this Starkiller?" I meekly asked. I was tired - I needed to know.   
"Where are you from?" He asked - leaving my questions unanswered.   
"I'm from ___." I missed it there. I missed it so much. I just wanted to be back.   
"I've never heard of it." The voice finally stepped into my view. A large looming clocked figure came into my periphal vision then in front of me. A helmet covered his head. He was head to toe in black.   
I tried describing the popular landmarks that my city was known for - the ones tourists would recognise.   
"Enough. You really don't know?" He raised his large gloved hand to silence me.  
Slowly his hand began to twitch and move and the room filled with a stiff silence.   
"Stop barricading me. Don't resist or you'll make it harder for yourself" the sight was almost silly - he was so focused and I was just existing. What was he on about? This was so - so weird.   
"What do you mean? Im not doing anything, I mean I physically can't anyways but -" I was so confused.   
"QUIET" He dropped his hand to his side and strode towards me. Close. His helmet close to my head.   
"What're you doing? Are you another Jedi?" I could feel the hot air escaping his helmet in short violent bursts.  
"I don't know what you're talking about." I squeaked as sincerely as I could trying to find the spots where his eyes would be if he removed his helmet. "Are you Commander Ren?"  
"You're a strong girl but I'm stronger. " His hand gripped the air again. I flinched away from him. What was wrong with this guy? I didn't want to get hurt. Was he on something - maybe a trip would explain his erratic behaviour. I was not strong by any means - especially within these restraints, I was exposed.   
"What're you saying? Im strapped I can do nothing." I looked away into the empty space of the room, the longer he was closer the more my heart pounded.   
The doors opened and in strolled in Hux if I remembered correctly. The tension in the air grew thicker and I grew more afraid.   
Commander Ren stood up and the two men glared at eachother before Hux glanced away to meet my pleading eyes.  
"Get out." Ren spat.   
"Why? Im curious to how someone like her got in and how crazy she really is. She seems to have gotten you up in a sweat after all." General Hux replied, the bitter tone in his voice evident, his hands behind his back as he stood up taller.   
Ren raised his hand and grabbed the air again but this time Hux seemed to be lifted up into the air by a force not seen. He clawed at the air new his neck as he struggled to breathe. This was insane. What was happening? I didn't blink once - I had to absorb all of this in. A chill ran down my spine - the hairs on the back of my neck standing straight up like soldiers at march. Then with a swift swipe of Rens hand, Hux went flying through the air and hit the wall with a impressive thud. He yelped like a dog as he made contact. Why would he do that, weren't they like colleagues?   
Is that? Is that what Ren was trying to do to me? How did he even do that? My gut wrenched and my hands became clammy. Hux scrambled up and left quickly not before making a statement on how Ren needs to respect him.   
The door slid firmly behind him leaving me alone once again with me and this. This mysterious figure.   
"Are you god?" I blurted out.   
"No." Rens attention shifted back to mine.   
"Are you a god?" I asked again - how else could I rationalise what I just saw.  
"No." He said again.   
"Are you the devil?" I asked, quieter this time.   
"No." He closed the distance between us again. His hand reached up to his head and with a small hiss his helmet opened. As the helmet lifted up, his face became visible. "I am of flesh and blood like you."  
I sucked in the air between my teeth.   
He was unusually beautiful. His long face matching his nose. Longer black hair falling in his face before he pushed it back. Soft yet hardened brown eyes staring back at me - trying to decipher me. As threatening as he was, his handsome beauty made me forget about it all as silly as it sounds.   
What the fuck was he then. He looked perfectly human but just choked and launched a man through the air with ease.   
"Then what are you?" I was curious. Even at the imminent threat he posed me - it wasn't like it could get worse.   
"I'm Kylo Ren. Im a Commander of the First Order - Master of the Knights of Ren." His voice was deep and it was like I could feel the vibrations of his voice against my seat. Facing away, he put his helmet down on a pit of what seemed like dust or ashes. "Today, you are my guest. But you are also my enemy."   
" I haven't done anything" i pleaded back, trying to meet his eyes.   
"How did you evade my force? It doesn't feel like you're here either. Like you're not disturbing the forces. It's like you don't exist at all." his eyes finally met mine - both of us sharing a look of confusion for a split second before he returned to his poised emotionless face.   
"Tell me how you're doing it."   
"I. I don't know." It had suddenly all become too much. My vision became blurry and my cheeks felt hot and subsequently wet."I dont know anything. I want to go back home. I want to be back home. I woke up and I was here suddenly. Starkiller - I still don't know where this is. I don't remember anything. Please, let me go. I want to go home."   
"Don't cry. Don't cry. Just talk to me." He stepped back, I could tell he was confused and taken aback like a confused new dad who's abruptly handed his newborn; His face remained poised apart from his eyes which darted from the side to my teary eyes. "Tell me more about where you're claim to be from. What planet are you from?"  
I looked up to him. Was he being serious? His face was void of any hidden smirk or laughter - he was being genuine.   
"Earth." I whimpered between my breathes. "The planet we're on?"  
"This is no Earth." Kylo's eyebrows furrowed for a short second. "In my years of living I've never heard of a Earth."  
"You're joking." I held my breath. The silence answered for him.   
"How? How? How the fuck did I end up here. I'm not supposed to be here." I went back into being a mess. "Please wake me up. I don't wanna be here."  
"This isn't a dream." Kylo said. "It's a reality. What's your name?"  
"(Y/N)." I replied. "I don't have any fancy long titles like you though."  
His lips threatened to break into a smile before he caught himself and shook his head. I had stopped crying.   
"Kylo?" Although I was scared and he seemed like a man to be feared, right now - right now, he seemed like a nice person.  
"Commander Ren." He looked away and reminded me of his authority before he hesitantly turned back. "But you can call me Kylo when it's just the two of us."   
My heart skipped a beat as if I was in primary school again - I'd just met him and he made me feel like this. I felt special and it almost made me forget how vulnerable I was. I was going crazy - was I developing Stockholm syndrome. No Definitely not - I didn't even know him enough. What was wrong with me?   
"What's going to happen to me?"


	3. Chapter Three

I hated this. Stuck in a cell.   
It was the size of a small bedroom and had a bed with a reasonably comfortable mattress - relative to the seat I was on, this was heaven. As soon as I had asked what my future was going to be, Kylo swiftly put his helmet back on and left me in the dark room. Shortly after the white armoured soldiers unlatched me off the seat (to my relief) and led me to this cell.  
It was still better than the cells I saw back home in the documentaries - there's was no one else and I wasn't in dense squalid conditions. It was plain with clean white walls and a circular door like an intricate vault in a bank. They dressed me in rather soft cell clothes - they were oddly comfortable. It was the equivalent of sweats and a t shirt.  
I was stunned. What had he meant by he'd never heard of Earth? Did it not exist? What did that mean about me? Was my past imagined? No. No. I was definitely real. What I lived through was definitely real. I wasn't going to let Kylo's words erase that. How and where was earth then? My imagination darted through images of earth exploding, then disintegrating, melting away and even being sucked into a swirling black hole.   
My thoughts darted to my two darling cats - I prayed my flatmate would look after them, wherever they were. I smiled to myself. They had truely become part of my support system - I missed their company. Charlie was a ginger tom cat was a big lover, always reminding me he was there by rubbing against my feet, settling down on my lap and singing to me loudly through his rhythmic meows and steady purrs. Lola was more reserved and quiet cat who loved quietly - she curled up closly and gently, kneaded against blanket and would blink lovingly and slowly to me when I turned her way. I had found them both abandoned in front of the clinic I worked at as a student - Lola when she was three and Charlie when he was merely weeks old. They used to squabble like siblings, Lola always managing to gain the upper hand because as large as Charlie was, he was also very clumsy and goofy. I hadn't noticed but my eyes had involuntarily opened a stream of tears.   
"Cheer up." I heard the familiar voice. General Hux.   
"Because that so easy - how did I not think if that?," I quickly wiped away my tears before rolling over. "Especially when I've just lost everything I know."  
Our eyes clashed - I could feel my fury and pain slightly falter when I remembered how he was thrown around like a ragdoll earlier.   
"Are you doing alright, by the way?" I looked away at the floor then back at him.   
He stayed silent.   
"I mean you just got launched accross the fucking room," I exclaimed.   
"Ah yes, Commander Ren can have quite the temper." He huffed, "but I'm fine, he doesn't hurt me as much as he'd like to think."   
With a small clink he set a metal tray down - I hadn't even noticed him holding it.   
"You should eat." He nodded towards it.   
I reached for it before looking up.   
"You didn't put anything it, did you?" I was suspicious - I still had no idea how much I could trust these people considering they had a resistance and the fact I'm in a cell.  
"No." A slight bemused smile played on his lips.   
I know it didn't mean much because he could be lying for all I knew but I reached for the tray nevertheless. I gulped down the glass of water within seconds, relieving my mouth and throat of the heavy drought they were experiencing.   
I poked at the mystery meat before deciding it was good enough to eat - after the first bite I'd inhaled the rest of the tray. I'd forgotten the existence of Hux who remained there, standing quietly.  
"Sorry," I sheepishly said, feeling slightly guilty for ignoring him.  
"No need. I came to talk to you." He paced my cell. "Commander Ren said you were interesting."   
"Oh," I had no idea what to say.   
I shifted to the corner of the bed inviting him to sit at the edge with me. He stayed standing.   
I parted the space next to me.   
"Do you wanna sit down?" I whispered.   
His eyes shifting between me and the space before he slowly made his way and sat down - careful to not be too close to me. I could faintly smell a soft smell cologne with a tinge of smoke.   
"General Hux, have you heard of Earth?" I asked, eagerly.   
"Never." He replied.   
"Why's nobody heard of it?" I said, dissapointedly. "It was the only planet with life on it. It's got huge oceans with land. It's beautiful."  
"Lots of planets have life on it." He looked at me - his tone like that of a teacher.   
"Not where I came from." I sighed and leaned back to lie on the bed. "Where I came from, we were the only intelligent life on planets for light years on. We did try to find others though."   
"Then you were naive," he looked down at me. His back was poised perfectly - maintaining a straight posture.   
"You could say that," I smiled. "Then where did you come from Hux? You're no alien."   
"I'm human, I was born in Arkanis." He tilted his head.  
"It sounds like the American state - Arkansas" I snorted, laughing slightly, memory of a familiar vine played in my head.   
"American? " He looked at me - face washed in curiosity.  
"Oh yeah, you wouldn't know." I sighed, "it's this huge country with so many states. You would've thought the states would be different countries - they've got so many different laws and different customs for each state. It's just so stupid."  
"That does sound stupid. You need one form of power to rule them all." He seemed enthusiastic.   
"Exactly that's what I keep saying, it's make things so much easier." I groaned.   
From then, we conversed casually - about ourselves. It was nice considering the fact that he was holding me captive. I told him alot about where I came from, of the things normal people did on earth and of the animals and wildlife that was present. He listened intently, his hand gently gripping his knees - asking me to describe these creatures. I found it difficult that I couldn't compare to another animal so I had to start from scratch. Then I moved on to my very own two cats, I grinned just even talking about them.  
"Do you not have animals here, like that with you?" My legs swinging gently at the edge of the bed.   
"We have great beasts, the ugly and some enchanting but they're that - beasts. We don't treat them, we especially don't have people like you to take care of them." He spoke - each word was clear and crisp. He was very well spoken. "But I do have a cat."   
"Really?" My hear beamed. It was humourously cute how someone of great power and responsibility could still have a soft spot for their beloved.  
"Her name is Millicent." He smiled and looked down at me. "Her name means Strength."  
"How'd you get her?" I asked, gently.  
"I was visiting another station and one of the chef's was rushing to hide her mother and kits. Millicent escaped from her box and sat by my feet."  
"You know pets tend to choose their owners rather than the opposite." I smiled.   
"Really?" His eyes lit up.   
"She felt safe enough to do that - cats are usually timid with strangers." I smiled.  
"Can you help her?" He said. "I mean if she ever got ill."  
"I don't know, there isn't much I can do in this cell. I don't think you have the equipment and medicine that's suited for cats." I said honestly. I couldn't promise him anything, it would break hearts if I couldn't deliver on it.   
"Would you still try?" He asked.   
"Always." I whispered.   
"I'm going to make time for you visit her in my quarters." His eyes widened as if he had spoke before he thought.  
"That'd be so cool." I sat up. "It is a bit weird that you're treating your prisoner like this. Do you do this with all your prisoners?"  
"No. Definitely not." A faint pink dusted his face.   
He suddenly cleared his throat and stood up stiffly again.   
"Apologies, I do have other duties to attend." He said curtly.   
"I'll be waiting. I'm excited for the next time you come over." I smiled softly."I enjoyed your company."  
His eyes continued to look at me but his originally pale cheeks got redder by the second.   
"Goodbye." He stepped out of the cell, the door clicking behind him.   
He was cute. Nicer, than he was the first time he called me crazy.


	4. Chapter Four

It was later on the day? Night? In these walls I couldn't tell the difference. It had been two days roughly - Id been served my 5th meal so I was estimating the time passed. That didn't matter anyways, the main point was that Hux had come to get me like he promised. He led me through winding corridors and sliding doors - we walked in a comfortable silence.   
"Welcome," he walked into a spacious and sleek room, "to my quarters. Millicent should be around here - somewhere."  
I'd expected a medium sized bedroom but I was greeted by what seems like a luxury apartment - one I could never afford in my wildest dreams.   
The tall ceilings were surrounded by glossy black walls (must be a pain to clean but it looked so lavish). He has a black leather sofa with a round glass coffee table in front of it - both on a soft furry rug. On the wall he had a large mirror to the side of the sofa and a large clock in front.   
Whilst I admired his apartment, I didn't notice Millicent making her grand entrance - only noting her when she gave a delightfully friendly meow. She was a lovely shorthaired ginger kitty - she wrapped herself around Hux's leg purring and leaning in. She was brimming with love for him. General Hux leaned down and gently pet her head - affection was radiating out of the two.   
"You two match," I remark - both had a lighter hue of ginger and they looked like doppelgangers. He carefully picked her up and turned to me.   
"I guess we do." He let out a small smile.   
"She's gorgeous." I looked at him then back at her, "you're gorgeous, lovely. Hey, aren't you?"  
Her fur was soft and plush under my fingers and i relished petting her - I missed Charlie and Lola.   
"Put her down on the table." I nodded to the coffee table. "I'm just going to check you over okay, baby?"   
I ran my hand over her body - she was in good shape , no odd bumps or lumps. Checked her head, eyes, nose, teeth, mouth then finally pressed my head against her chest to make up for no stethoscope. I told Hux everydetail I was going through and he listened intently, I could tell he was slightly concerned. I glanced at the nearly full ashtray on the corner of the table.  
"Looks like you smoke alot, General Hux?" I ask him.  
"Yes." He nodded, he looked confused.   
"Don't smoke with her in the room, ever heard of second hand smoke?" I questioned. He shook his head - negative. "The smoke could harm her and it would shorten her lifespan. It's worse than just smoking itself."  
"Oh." His face fell and I knew he was swimming in guilt. He continued pettinh Millicent as she sat their patiently.   
"It's okay I smoke sometimes too. Just do it in a different room." I reassured. He was only human after all.   
"I'm guessing you go through alot of stress?" I watched him lean back and sink into his couch. Millicent turned to me to keep supplying her with pets.   
"You could say that. I'm just trying to fulfill my destiny - and it's no easy feat." He sighs and pats the space next to him - like I had done once before. I sat and it was incredibly comfortable, I sunk under the softeness of the couch.  
"What's your destiny?" I prodded.  
"To rule to galaxy - to bring it order. That. That is my destiny," His eyes seemed distant for a few seconds before he looked back at me.  
"Ah. The galaxy." I tried processing it. Where in Earth it was almost blasphemy to aim further than your own country, this man was trying to rule an entire galaxy. "A big dream for a big man."  
"How did Commander Ren hurt you without putting a finger on you?" I asked, not wanting to leave it before I forgot it again.   
"He uses the force." He ran his hands through his hair, ruffling it out of his slicked back hairstyle.   
"The force is what binds us all together. It's like an energy source that everything releases." He answered before I could even ask. "He is one of a very few that can use the force. It's an incredible tool but he abuses it"  
I imagined a string leading off of every object being tied to Ren's finger tips.  
"What does that mean about me then? He tried but I don't know if he could. He called me strong." I stammered - I had to ask.   
"I don't know." He revealed. "We don't know. It is very strange, to say the least. Unheard of."  
"Can you use the force?" I look at him. He chuckled softly, he seemed amused.   
"No, I don't think so, I would'nt be able to handle the responsibilitied anyways." He leaned back into his sofa, his head tilting back. He was beautiful.  
"Would you like anything to drink?" He asks, sitting back up again. "Tea or coffee?"  
"Tea, would be nice. Thank you" I had craved a hot drink for a while now.   
"Stay here," he got up and walked towards what I assumed was his kitchen. Millicent, who was seated between us got up and followed Hux.   
"Sugar?" His voice echoed through the flat.  
"Two, please." I answered back.   
I leaned back and waited. It felt oddly serene.   
The serenity quickly broken by the doors sliding open as Commander Ren waltzed in. I stood up quickly - out of instinct.  
"What're you doing here?" His mask boomed.   
"General Hux invited me," I looked to the floor to avert my gaze - before I realised that being scared probably made Hux look guilty of something.   
Before I could say anything more he went past me into the kitchen. I heard glass shatter and a slight struggle.  
I ran in.   
Hux once again suspended in air - below him a crime scene for a cup of tea.   
"LET HIM GO." I yelled , sheer panic taking over - he was going slightly blue. I guess any fear of the Commander escaped my body as I tried pulling his arm back to the floor, shoving him slightly in the process - it was like pushing against an impossible boulder.   
Kylo finally dropped him to the floor where Hux finally took the deepest breath - redness quickly overriding the blueness in his face.  
Kylo turned to me, grabbed me tight by my arm and led me out. One of his steps being four of mine. I was scared to say the least, although he couldn't do the same to me using his force, he could very well do that to me phsycially.   
"Commander, what're you doing?" I asked, trying to catch my breath.   
I was met by silence.   
We finally reached large sliding doors - entering a room similar to Hux's only larger and slightly disheveled.   
He shoved me against the wall, his arms planted next to my body - caging me in. He was leaning down - his absolute being enveloped me.  
Scared was an understatement - I couldn't help being slightly aroused either. This was the stuff you'd see in fiction.   
"What was Hux doing with you?" His hot breath escaped his mask and blew into my face.   
"We were talking." I whispered - I didn't want to set him off. I remembered Hux mentioning his temper.  
"You're lying." He states.  
"No, I'm not. He brought me in to see Millicent and offered to make me tea. He's nice." I tried to convince him.   
The mention of Hux being nice seemed to tick him off as he pushed himself off the wall and aggressively removed and set his helmet down - his gorgeous face making an appearance again.   
"He's not nice. He's stupid and bitter." He growled.   
"He was nicer than you are being." I muttered, back still against the wall, "I barely know you."  
He inhaled sharply - he knew it too.   
"I saw your drink being spilled." He looked at me. "Do you want another one?"  
Was this his form of an apology? I'll take it.  
"Please," I said, I felt sorry for Hux - all that effort for nothing.   
He grabbed a small tablet, his hands dwarfing the entire thing and then set it down.   
"It should be on its way." He gruffly stated - I don't think I imagined him to be a domestic man so this fit in well.   
"Why'd you do that?" I asked.   
"Do what?" He answered back, sitting on his sofa, legs wide open and his hands limply beside him.   
"Hurt him like that?" I was astounded at his casual tone.   
"He lived." He huffed, "why do you care?"   
"Because," he looked at me intently anticipating my answer, "Because I do."  
"Don't tell me you're friends." A tone of betrayal in his voice - he sounded like a child whining about losing his favourite toy.   
"Why do you care?" I sighed, "I don't owe you anything. All I know is your name, Kylo."   
Where I had found this sudden confidence and coolness to combat my fear - I didn't know, but I was grateful nevertheless.   
"Sit down." His hand motioned to the seat in front of him and I accepted, moving my way towards it and gently setting myself on it.  
On cue the doors slid open and a small tray wheeled in - by itself. A soft mechanical whiffing before it lifted it's too and presented us with a mug of steaming liquid. I leaned over and grabbed it - a sweet fruity aroma wafting up.   
"That's so cool, we used to have something like that but it was white and it would ask for help if it couldn't get up a road and then it'd thank you. It was the cutest thing." I gushed, I loved robotic beings. They were just too cute.   
Kylo seemed surprised at my sudden change of mood and we both continued watching the bot leave the place.  
"You didn't want to drink anything?" I asked, taking a sip of the scalding drink. The warmth spreading throught my body.  
"No. I'm not thirsty." He pushed his long hair back with his gloved hands and looked at me.   
"Why am I here?" I asked, setting the mug down on the table in front of him.   
"That's what I'm asking myself? Not even why, how are you here?" He spoke, leaning over onto his knees.  
"I don't know and I don't know if I'll ever know?" I sighed. "I still don't know if this is all a practical joke - like you're all tricking me. I just can't seem to believe that this is a reality."  
"You just don't even warp the force around you, it's as if it doesn't even acknowledge you as a being." He was still in thought - racking his brain to come up with an answer.   
"Gee, thanks." It wasn't exactly nice knowing that it didn't feel like you existed.  
While he stayed in thought, I walked up to a set of thick velvet curtains - ones that weren't there in Hux's quarters.  
"Can I open this? I'm opening it," I asked, knowing that I wouldn't get a reply.   
I pushed the curtains back and stood back.   
My jaw dropped slightly, struggling to take it in. I'd never dreamed of being in space apart from science fiction movies but to be here was - it was amazing.   
Stars speckled the space, each one shining bright as eachother - all harmoniously glowing. My heart stopped beating for a while.   
"What's out there? Why're you looking out of there like that?" He stood up abruptly.   
"Stars," I said, the air knocked out of my chest. I felt miniscule, a small speck of dirt in a muddy field. It was at this moment - it had fully and finally dawned on me that this was very real and probably very permenant.  
Standing next to me he looked out too, then towards me then back.   
"You've never seen this." He stated.   
"I never thought I would." I stepped closer to the window. "All my life we could only look up to see faint specks of the stars but to be amongst them is truely different. Do you ever get used to it?"  
"It's all I know." His quietly said. I could feel some sense of sadness - perhaps maybe it was because he couldn't appreciate it like I could.   
"You can still admire it can't you? It's like a jewelry store. Everything so outrageously brilliant and sparkly, you'd feel so small and your worries wouldn't feel so- so heavy anymore." I exclaimed.   
I could feel his strong gaze set on me and back and then me again.   
"Perhaps," I could see a small smile play on his lips.


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you're enjoying it!   
> If you have any suggestions to.improve my writing - constructive criticism is welcome :)

"Kylo, can you tell me more about this place?" I asked.   
"It's Starkiller base - we stationed ourselves and our troops here." He walked closer to me.   
"Do you want to rule the galaxy too?" I asked softly. The distance between us getting smaller.   
"Bring order to it." His eyes bore into mine.   
"What exactly does that even mean?" All these vague answers didn't mean anything to me.   
"(Y/N), you'll know when I succeed." He looked out to the stars again. "I'll finish what he started."   
I wanted to know more but I knew I would get even vaguer answers.  
"What about the resistance?" I asked, "why did you think I was one of them?"   
"They'll drop like flies soon enough. Once they're over, everything should be orderly and the first order will reign without objection." He seemed stiff, "You appeared out of no where. For all I know you could still be a spy."  
"You don't think I'm a spy." I laughed.  
"Oh? What makes you think that?" He looked at me, I could see he wanted to be playful.   
"Well for one, I'm still alive." I gestured to my body.  
I noticed that he had a metal t shaped handle bar attached to his belt. It was thick, black and had a thin red vessel like wire running down it.   
"You've got a sword with no blade," I pointed at it.   
"It's no sword." He brought it out in his hand, it for perfectly in it - it was moulded for him.   
"So you've just got a handle then?" It joked, "what good is that?"  
"No - look" Kylo brought it away from me and with a small flick, the middle of hilt of his handle lit up and a long beam of neon like light ejected out of it, followed by the one to the sides. It was blazing like a strong fire and it's constant aggressive low growl filled the silent air. It's red hue harshly illuminated Kylo's face, his eyes glowing as he waved it in the air.  
I instinctively reached out with my bare hand and he pulled it away fast.   
"Are you stupid, it'll cut you." He scolded me. "I made it myself, I know how strong it is. It's a light saber"   
"Sorry, I'm just curious. How does that even work, it's just a beam of light. It's so cool." I beamed. "Can I have a go?"  
"I don't know if you can handle it." He shook his head, his hair shaking loyally with him, "Just this once "   
Kylo handed the handle to me - it was heavier than it seemed. It felt like a crime - like holding a luxury handbag I couldn't afford.   
I shook it expecting it to flick on like it did for Kylo. I shot him a dissapointed look. He walked behind me and placed a strong and tight grip on my hand - the handle began vibrating as the red beams cane up on show again, flickering violently. I could feel it's sheer power, each vibration like a pulse shaking my hand. He softly put his hand against my waist supporting me as he started helping he wave the saber around the air. As the saber passed my face, I could feel a strong wave of heat - it was pure energy. As the 'blade' whipped and sliced the air, adrenaline rushed through me - this was exhilarating. It was nothing like I'd experienced before.  
I couldn't hold in my joy as I let out quiet giggles - I could feel my smile take over my face. Kylo exhaled out his nose - he was enjoying this too.   
"How do you not end up paying with this constantly?" I smiled.  
"I do but besides that It's a weapon for war, little girl." He leaned into my back.  
"Who are you calling little girl?" I nudged him," I'm probably as old as you."  
"I didn't mean your age." He teased back.   



	6. Chapter Six

I could feel Kylo lean further into my back, his body becoming heavier by the second. The saber turned on with a soft hum and his grip on my hand left to meet around my body - engulfing me in a tight embrace. I let him grip me, I don't know why but I let it happen, his grip desperate and all consuming. He rest his head on mine - it was heavy but I bore his weight - it wasn't like I could do anything else.  
I was taken aback to say the least - the Commander who was so fiery and put of a show of invincibility was soft and limp against me.  
I pushed him away slightly which he let me do- only so I could embrace him back. And we stood there, hugging - and before long I could feel a dampness against my head.  
Was he - was he crying?  
Some people have breaking points and maybe he was at his - I knew that sometimes people just need to be held in silencr while they sobbed their hearts outs to relieve themselves of some of their pain. I certainly had done something like this several times - the comforting silence would take over and all you could focus on was the warm embrace and the feeling of a safety net.  
I slowly rocked back and forth - from the heel of my foot to the toes of my feet - we swayed.  
I led him to the couch, sitting down first and leading him on top so his head was on my lap - half his legs dangling off. His hand over his eyes like a small boy not wanting to show his mother he was crying. I ran my hands through his hair and gently kept petting him - cradling his head.  
Why had was I feeling so comfortable doing this? Hell why was I remotely comfortable with any of this - meeting with Hux in his room, then being led to another man's room then holding him as he broke down. I couldn't explain myself to my own concious but I knew it felt okay - I was going to be okay.  
I wondered what was going through Kylo's head as he stayed stayed still - eyes shut. His hand reached up to mine and held it - he had ungloved it without me noticing so his hard, cold hands clashed with my own warm hands.  
"I think because I can't feel your presence at all in the force - I think it makes me feel safe." He tried explaining himself. "With others I can always feel them, I always have to be prepared - they're always looking - waiting - counting on me making a mistake. I don't know, I don't know- but with you I just-"  
"It's okay Kylo, you don't have to explain yourself," I whispered softly.  
"I'm not weak." He tried to state firmly, his voice scratchy.  
"I don't think you are." I reassured "Everyone's allowed to cry."  
"Not me. I'm - not weak." He said again.  
"Weak people aren't the only people cry." I squeezed his hands.  
"You're making me weak - look at me." He sighed after a long pause, he was talking more to himself target than to me. "Look at me - only just met you and I'm reduced to tears."  
I couldn't say anything- everything was moving so fast.  
He finally faced me. He looked up to me. A tender pale and puffy face, tears glistening down his cheeks, looked at me. His hair falling by his face, tousled and messy.  
We stayed in silence for a long time.  
"You never saw this." He stood up abruptly. In his eyes deep conflict with himself was evident by the way his gaze flickered from his hands to me - his eyebrows knitting together in a deep frown. "I don't know if I don't ever want you to leave or if I want to kill you."  
What. What in the love of God.  
The fear that I thought had abandoned me came crashing back. My ears went hot and soon my chest was becoming tight.  
"Kylo, please," I pleaded, "what're you saying?"  
"I could never kill you - I know I just could never." He grumbled.  
"Why would you say that?" I muttered - my heart still thudding vigorously. The hairs on neck still standing alert; My legs throbbed begging me to run and never look back.  
"Can I do this?" Before I could even comprehend what he was saying, he leant over, kneeling on the sofa and held my face in his hands.  
Kylo lent in and planted his lips on mine - I didn't even have time to register anything before my leg lashed out pushing Kylo away from me with a rough kick - a grunt of pain escaping his lips.  
"KYLO."I could hear myself yell. My eyes were wide and I'd lost my breath. "I'm so confused. What're you thinking?"  
"I wanted to kiss you," he looked - the rejection stained his face sourly.  
"Kylo, I'm scared. I'm lost. This whole thing has just been going at a 100 miles a second. You just told me you wanted to kill me!" I let my thoughts fly. My head was chaotic - it was cloudy yet I could see perfectly well.  
"I said I could never." He rebuked - guilt apparent on his face as his eyes remained fixed on my face.  
"Kylo. I- I don't know what to say." I was lost for words -like I'd completely forgotten any thought process I could have.  
A long silence invaded the room - apart from my short shallow breaths, you could hear nothing.  
"I'm sorry." Kylo finally broke the silence. "I don't know what's happening to me."  
He crawled towards me and cupped my hand in his.  
"Forgive me." Brown sincere eyes begging me for a chance.  
"Please take me back," I let out in a small whisper, feeling overwhelmed, "to my cell."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know if you liked it or not!  
> I introduced some conflict between Kylo and the reader to reflect his mental state but I wasn't too sure if it was too early to do so.  
> If it was a good chapter or not let me know so I can improve it - I'd like to produce a good solid enjoyable story!


	7. Chapter Seven

We walked in silence. Only the thudding of out footsteps against the floor breaking the tension.  
I stepped in without hesitation into my cell and walked straight over to my bed and rolled over onto the mattress. I could see Kylo's sillhouette in the corner of my eye - he was standing there like a lost puppy. Shifting his weight from one foot to another he waited for some recognition or maybe a dismissal or even a forgiveness speech.  
"Come back another day," I exhaled, just loud enough to let him hear, before rolling over to face the wall. In the most explicable way, I still wanted to see him; maybe it was just loneliness setting in, I told myself but in my heart I knew that I wanted to see him for him.  
Before I could dwell on it any longer, I fell fast asleep.  
*  
With a sudden jolt, my eyes flew open. Trying to catch my breath, I sat up. It had felt like I'd just fallen for hours on end; finally reaching the end of the cycle - head first.  
Everything felt hot - I was sweating profusely - I like I was boiling in a pot of oil.  
My hand gripped the end of my jumper lifting it above my head and throwing it against the foot of the bed. A feeling of relief overwhelmed me when the cold air rushed against my skin.  
I flipped my pillow over to the cooler side before settling down again - I just couldn't go back to sleep. I tried to forget about what had happened but like a vice, anxiety refused to let go of me.  
I stood up and saw a tray at the entrance of the cell; I thought I could use the comfort of some food. I ate slower than usual, trying to focus on the mild salty taste and gritty texture of the mystery meat - anything to get my mind off previous events. It was cold but my body still gratefully relished the nutrition - it was like having the first bite of a hangover meal after a raging night out.  
When I lifted up the packaged roll of bread, I saw a small piece of paper attached to the bottom of it.  
'Millicent' it simply said.  
The handwriting was perfectly neat - all the letters proportioned perfectly and with care. It only took one word for me to realise what it mean - I was going to return to Hux's quarters.  
A small giddy feeling kicked out my prior worries as I stuffed the bread into my mouth - not bothering to savour the meal anymore.  
I waited what felt like days but realistically was a mere couple of hours before the cell slid open. Hux quietly popped his head in and motioned me to get out. I quickly leapt up - I had put on my shoes earlier on out of eagerness.  
"Well you're happy," Hux noted, his eyes studying my face.  
"Yes of course, I get to be with you," I gushed - only realising how coy it sounded after the words had time to settle into his mind. I didn't take it back. His cheeks seemed to get heated again with the appearance of a red hue.  
"Ah," he let out, to acknowledge what I had said.  
We began walking down the same corridors again, although I was excited I couldn't help feeling anxiety about accidentally running into Kylo. I didn't want to face him yet.  
"Hello darling," I cooed when Millicent came up to us, strutting, when we had finally reached his quarters.  
Immediately I could notice the absence of the ashy smell of cigarettes - the ashtray was also missing from the table. Seemed like Hux really took what I said on board.  
Millicent wrapped herself around Hux's legs lovingly as she purred countinuously, before finally pausing at my feet and sniffing shoes and legs.  
I knelt down and stroked her gently along her back before travelling up to her head and then giving her chin and cheek scratches which she seemed to appreciate the most - purring loudly in content.  
All this time I could feel Hux's eyes watching me - carefully.  
"Hux?" I grabbed his attention with my curious tone.  
"Yes, Y/n." He answered back, strolling over to the sofa before taking a seat. I followed him shortly but sat on the floor, back against the front of the sofa so I could keep supplying Millicent with my love.  
"Why do you keep seeing me - I think half the times I see you, you get tossed around and basically strangled" I wanted to know - it was true. Our meetings seemed to have reoccurring theme of him ending up with being hurt. "I mean we've not known eachother for a long time."  
The question seemed to have stunned him as he kept his eyes fixed on the table - holding in his breath. I didn't mean for it to be such a racing question and the more seconds passed, the more I began to feel bad for him.  
"NEVERMIND" I told him, hoping he'd return back to his normal state.  
"I don't know." He finally said, turning his head back to me.  
"That's okay. We're friends now, right?" I looked up to him, smiling.  
"Friends," he muttered, his lips parting after. Silence filled the air and I began to be concerned if I had said it too fast - but it wasn't like I asked him to marry me or anything.  
"Yes, I supposed we are." Hux finally turned to me nodding in affirmation.  
"Say, then. You never told me your first name." I asked him.  
"Armitage." He stated, neither proud nor ashamed. "Armitage Hux."  
"Oh like Simon Armitage," I recalled. "When I was younger we had to read his poem for an exam - he wrote about the aftereffects of war to a soldier that had gone home. At the time, I thought it was boring but when I looked back it was really beautiful and eye opening. He was really good poem, Armitage."  
"Was this Armitage a good man?" Hux asked curiously.  
"He was known for his poems - goes for realism rather than idealism. It's heartbreakingly beautifully." I explained before letting out a small laugh, " I never knew him personally, Armitage. if that's what you're thinking."  
"Oh," he said dissapointedly - his head lowering for a moment.  
"What do you mean by a good man?" I scooted closer so I was parallel to his legs, leaning into his knee.  
"If he was good - brave, commendable, successful." Hux stated - he was visibly more stiffer but I had been to preoccupied by his answer to notice.  
"A good man to me, might be your own worst nightmare." I sighed, "like the resistance. They're fighting for what they think is right, aren't they?"  
"That's true but ultimately the truth shall prevail." Hux declared firmly. I became surprised when I could feel a tingling sensation as I realised he had begun fiddling and twirling with the ends of my hair - he had become more comfortable, slowly but surely.  
"You have to remember that the victors write history. The winners always like to paint themselves in a better light - don't they?" I challenged his statement.  
Hux's eyes met mine, a mixture of adoration and frustration weaved into the darke green flecks of his iris.  
"Then maybe the losers should've tried harder." He snapped back, breaking out a smile.  
"Maybe," I smiled back, "but you are correct - the truth does prevail. People never forget - and what drives history? The people."  
"Have you ever been to war, y/n?" He questioned me.  
"Fortunately not." I sighed, "I did want to work for the military at some point in my life."  
"Why'd a lady like you want to go to war?" Hux asked gently.  
"I'm not a pillow princess Hux, I can fight..." I trailed off, "if I was trained to."  
I couldn't fight; I knew basic self defence , but to fight a war would be something vastly out of my current capabilities.  
"And yourself? Do you enjoy being commander?" I asked back.  
"It's not about enjoying it - it's who I am. It's something that needs to be done; I was born for this." Hux stated firmly - I guess he was a firm believer in fate.  
"But then what's life when you don't enjoy it?" I rebutted, "No point wasting what little time you have doing something you don't love."  
"I do enjoy it. Besides, I couldn't imagine doing anything but this." He responded nonchalantly.  
"Did you grow up wanting to do this?" I asked slowly.  
He sighed, his face quickly becoming tense then relaxing again - perhaps I shouldn't have asked.  
"As a young boy.." he paused looking up to the ceiling. "As a young boy, I wanted to do many things - I don't think I ever made my mind up. My late father was an Imperial officer so I watched him alot - it was then I knew this was my calling."  
"Sorry about your dad." I whispered, I always seemed to ask people the wrong things.  
"It's okay, his end was fitting for him," he looked at me from the corner of his eye, "What about yourself, did you enjoy what you did?"  
"I wanted to everything when I was younger, I never made my mind up. I chose to treat animals because it made a reasonable amount of money and it's rewarding and interesting - I grew to love it more than I thought I would."  
"It doesn't sound like it was your first choice." Hux tilted his head, intending to learn more.  
"No, I wanted to be an artist but my family wasn't fond about that. Besides I was told it doesn't make much money" I reminisced painfully, they had gone ballistic and it hadn't ended well.  
"You're a hypocrite." Hux said matter of factly, "do what you love."  
"I never said I wasn't," I nudged Hux's leg playfully.  
"You didn't, did you?" Hux nudged back.  
"Never." I leaned against his leg, closing my eyes and getting comfortable. Hux leaned over and gently grabbed the sides of my arms to encourage me to sit beside him rather than the floor and I complied.  
"The things I can offer you is very limited but I do have some paper and pencils here." He whispered when I rested my head against his shoulder. His hands shifted awkwardly from his lap to his knee and finally crossed on this arms - it made me doubt whether he'd sat like this anyone ever or whether I was too close for comfort or not.  
"Awe, Hux" I cooed, "Thank you so much! Do you think I can take it back to my cell? I get so bored in there that I might eat the walls."  
"Cell. Of course, I'll make sure you're allowed." He nodded quietly.  
Oddly, he hadn't asked me anything about our last meeting where I was taken away by Kylo but if he didn't want to remember the incident I didn't want to inconvenience him.  
"Y/N, you can stay here for the day," he offered, "if you want, of course."  
"Can I?" I beamed.  
"Yes. If you'd like." He turned his head to me nodding.  
Spontaneously I hugged him, burying my face into the corner between his neck and shoulder. I was ecstatic at the small privellage of being in a different room for a while - a really spacious one as well.  
Hux was stiff - not responding to my embrace so I quickly detached my body from his.  
"Sorry, I sure do tend to make you uncomfortable." I apologetically smiled. His mouth was parted, his eyes slightly wide and his face growing what had become a familiar shade of red.  
He stayed silent before embracing me this time - to my surprise. A sense of relief washed over me - he didn't mind it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you enjoyed this chapter or not!  
> Sorry for the irregular uploading, I was ill!


	8. Chapter Eight

Hux left shortly after, to attend some meeting again, telling me that he'd be back sometime later that day.  
I spent a while just playing around with Millicent, teasing her with a small piece of string I found in the kitchen drawer. 

Finding myself peckish, I scavenged his kitchen - finding lots of fresh but odd produce. I'd never seen fruits like this: some kind of large shiny cyan coloured aubergines, small but plentifulpink prickly round spheres attached to yellow stems, long matte oranges that were soft to the touch - the list of oddities could go on.  
It wasn't that I was picky with food or not adventurous but I decided I'd wait for Hux to return to try them out. Just in case.  
I settled for something I was famillar with - a roll of bread I found in a small black bread box.  
I wanted to snoop around Hux's quarters out of boredom but God forbid I was caught - I was at mercy to these people. Hux was my friend but he was only recently my friend too.  
I instead resorted to sleeping - the sofa, whilst comfortable, wasn't the perfect spot.  
I found myself upon Hux's bed; It was large and neatly made - as if no one had slept in it ever. I told myself I'd wake up before he arrived and fix it back to what it was.  
It was far more space than I was used to in the cell so I fell into sleep almost with the drop of a hat.  
*  
I woke up slowly to the sound of footsteps - which was odd as I was an abnormally heavy sleeper. I felt a set of eyes gaze at me with such power that I shifted uncomfortably under it. I slowly peeled my eyes open, adjusting it to the light and looked towards the direction of the eyes.  
"Kylo." I grumbled, sleepily.  
"KYLO?" I scrambled up quickly and stood to attention in shock. "What're you doing here - again?"  
How did he get in here? Did he have free access to enter Hux's quarters as he wished? Why was he here?  
"I see Hux has already bed you." Kylo's eyes seemed furious and unforgiving.  
"What?" I asked him - heart still pounding away from the sudden jump. Then I realised, "No. NO. Hux allowed me to stay here for the day. I just fell asleep here."  
"I see." Kylo's spat, his fury hadn't decreased.  
"Kylo, listen," I sighed trying to de-escalate whatever was running through his head. I walked out Hux's room and threw myself on the sofa, Kylo hot on my heels.  
"I knew what I did was irrational but you didn't have to sleep with Hux," he hissed.  
"We did not sleep together, Kylo." I snapped back infuriated, "Do you think I'm some whore that'll open my legs for anyone that comes by me? Is that what you think? Kylo, I've not been here long enough to settle for anything - I have nothing here. Is that why you kissed me? Because you think I would've let you fuck me?"  
Kylo rubbed his face with his large hands, this was clearly not what he expected not wanted to happen and I could feel the shame and panic settling into his own skin.  
"What do you want?" I asked him, after collecting my thoughts.  
"To be friends," he exhaled deeply, "I want to have what you and Hux have."  
"Ren, me and Hux have barely-" I was immediately cut off.  
"Will you train with me tomorrow?" He asked hesitantly.  
"Fine." I agreed rather quickly. Training for what? For all knew he would have me washing the dishes at whatever kitchen this place had. In my heart, I knew I accepted slightly out of guilt as unlike Hux, kylo and I had only met due to other circumstances never by free will. Thus, although I didn't owe him anything, I felt like I owed some time to him alone. "Kylo?"  
His eyes flickered over to mine.  
"You barely know me why're you putting so much effort?" I question him the same way I questioned Hux but more carefully.  
"Yesterday's events should answer your question." He stood up, quickly and slid his mask on again."I'll see you tomorrow."  
"Do you really trust me?" I whispered, the laws of the force intrigued me.  
He left without answering - Kylo seemed to swing from a frightening firey rage to a calm collected individual with a matter of Milli seconds. He was dangerously intriguing to say the least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you like it so far so I can improve it or change things!


	9. Chapter Nine

After that, I returned to bed, cosying up again - the sheets faintly smelled like his cologne.   
The sound of doors sliding open and the redistribution of weight on the mattress slowly roused me up from my slumber.   
I peeked through my heavy eyelids to spot a hue of strawberry blonde and immediately sat up.  
"Oh Hux, sorry I was supposed to be awake and make your bed. I'm sorry I slept in your be-" I rambled on quickly.   
"You can rest. I didn't mean to wake you." Hux nodded then looked down at his hands - his eyes glossy yet empty.   
"Hux," I said softly, crawling over to him and sitting on the edge of the bed next to him. "What's wrong?"  
"It's nothing." His voice was strained - his hands turning a ghostly white as they crushed eachother in a deadly grip. I quickly placed my hands on top of his - they were cold to the touch. Colder than my own.   
"Nothing?" I repeated back to him, trying to gently prod him to tell me more - I couldn't watch him this tense.   
"Seems like I'm always falling short." He whimpered, "I fear my ambitions outweighs the abilities I possess."   
He sighed deeply closing his eyes, I incased my hand around his and gently pried them open. I took a moment to think of how I would response - part of me wanted me to stay silent to avoid further damage. I knew the all familiar over whelming and all consuming feeling of failure.   
"Your ambitions can never outweigh your abilities- only you can choose whether you are able to pursue it or not." I whispered, "Hux, it's okay to be scared."  
"Not in this universe. Fear is only useful to herd the sheep," he looked at me, "and beat the wolves into submission."  
"Fear makes people move, it shapes up, fuels us." I rebutted, "I know fear is making you wake up everyday, whether of failure or death, I'm not sure. It's okay to be scared - you just need to know how to utilise it to propel you. Embrace the damn thing."   
He held my hands tighter and our eyes made a connection - searching eachother for unspoken answers.   
The silence broken when I erupted in a fit of giggle as I felt the ticklish feeling of fur rubbing against the sole of my foot. Hux let break a smile as he picked up the purring feline, setting her between us.   
"Would you like to lay with me?" Hux asked hesitantly, a small pause between each word as if he was testing the waters.   
I remembered Kylo's visit and how he angry he got with the idea of Hux 'bedding: me.  
"You mean just lie with eachother right?" I asked back.   
"Yes, yes of course." Hux blushed, petting Millicent furiously to keep himself busy.   
"Okay," I smiled - I missed the touch of someone else. I didn't have a partner back home but I still craved gentle physical attention.   
I hadn't noticed that Hux was already dressed down in a draped robe fastened by a fabric belt. I leaned against him wrapping my arms around his torso - feeling Hux tense then relax under me. Pulling him down with me into the softness of the mattress, Hux slid his arm under my head and rested his head next to mine. Millicent, pawed her way up and nestled in the small gap between our stomachs.   
I could feel his short breaths gradually lengthen and turn into deep steady breaths as he closed his eyes.   
"I don't want to lose you."


	10. Chapter Ten

Waking up was difficult - it didn't get easier the longer I was here. I was subjected to a constant environment of artificial lights all the time and waking up in Hux's bed was no different.  
We woke up like we had slept - perfectly frozen in time.  
"Hux," I sighed - god knew what my breath smelled like.  
He only groaned back a response.  
"Kylo asked, well demanded that I train with him." I told him, relaxing into Hux's arm again - I was sure it had gone absolutely numb by now but he didn't seem to mind.  
"I hate him," Hux groaned again, "You should probably attend despite the fact I detest the thought of it."  
"How do I get there?" I asked him - Kylo hadn't really told me at any point during his dramatic exit.  
"I'll escort you," Hux sighed snuggling further into the duvet and me, "in a while."  
"You know where I come from, conquerers are on the wrong side of history." I whispered, "a country, Britain, had an empire on which the sun never set. And that crumbled in the end - but the way it destroyed other countries were horrendous." I turned to face Hux. This wasn't the exact type of pillow talk I usually did - it wasn't the type Hux expected either, judging by his furrowed brows. "History is always changing. There is no wrong or just side. It is just how it is." Hux sighed, leaning further into his pillow. "I believe that my purpose is just. That my ambitions are the only way for me. The galaxy is made to be ruled. It needs a force bringing it together in solidarity. It needs a powerful leader to bring it the future it deserves." "And you think you are that leader?" I asked him, quietly. "You don't?" He retorted. "I haven't seen you in action to say anything. Besides it's what you think that Ultimately decides your own fate. So do you?" I settled comfortably on his chest. Feeling every rise and fall of his breathing chest. "I do." He closed his eyes and breathed out his nose. "I do. But the first order needs Supreme leader Snoke to help it grow, in numbers and thus power. I don't have the political influence to do that yet." "So you're relying on the success of others?" I prodded him. "Never. I would never rely on anyone else - but myself. They can either bring you to success or tear you down and turn you to ashes - a risk I am not willing to take." Hux clenched his Jaw before relaxing it again - he ran his hand down your back, rubbing it gently. "And you speak from experience?" I asked carefully. He seemed like a man who had been aged beyond his years by pain and impossible standards he had set himself. "Possibly, but that's a story for another time." It seemed like a sensitive topic so I didn't press on it. However I would be lying if I didn't say that it made me even more curious about him. "Without a good ruler, the galaxy will become rubble and dust. It needs us - craves us to restore order to it. No matter how much the resistance preaches freedom - it would never work. They're just a stupid cult - they all wear the same stupid shade of beige and brows and they all say the same things in the same voice." Hux exclaimed - his hands tensing. "You need freedom. Without it the people will never rest easy. The tyrants will always be over thrown - you may rule for a while but you will eventually become the ashes you rose from." I resisted - I knew that it wasn't my place or in my favour to speak like this but I did anyways. "When they get what they want, they will be outlaws. Chaos will insue - all structure will be lost. Structure must be upheld. You can see it in the stars. The cat controls the population of mice and so on. Without the fear of the cat, the mice overruns it's environment - eats everything, it breeds and it's population becomes excessively in the surplus. Once they reach the peak, it will decline steeply - no food, too many mouths to feed, not enough space to live in. They will turn against one another." Hux looks down at me still lying on his chest. "We are not mice." I breathed on to his chest. "No but it still applies." Hux let out a heavy sigh - his chest dipping. "Do you seek freedom?" "I never really thought about it. I come from a place of privellage where this isn't my immediate thought. But where I come from, freedom is the ultimate goal. To live free of troubles - to live as we wish in peace." My eyes meet his eyes - his beautifully sheen eyes. "It's impossible but we can try to get pretty damn close." "I can give you the freedom you wish." Hux cupped my head in his hands. "Not now. But soon enough." "We'll see," I smiled, "you've sworn it now." "I guess I have," Hux laughed softly, his soft hair bouncing every so gently - a subtle tinge of pink spreading through his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hope you like the new chapters.  
> Do you think it's moving too fast or too slow?  
> Let me know if you like it!  
> 29/05/20 update  
> Changed it because I thought I added the romance too early!


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know if you like it or not :) it'll help me gage how to.plan the story further

Hux gave me a new set of clothes to slip into: black trousers that had to be rolled up and fastened with the strings at the top, and a loose black shirt that looked similar to the tops you would see martial artists wear with the crossover neckline and flared sleeves - all tied off with a thick belt to hold it into place so it didn't flow with ever move.  
"You can keep those, I don't wear them anyways," Hux handed them over and looked away as I hastily put them on. Hux kept his eyes on me before catching himself and turning around promptly with embarrasment evident in his face.  
"Thanks Hux, they're comfortable" I beamed at him."You can look now."  
"Sorry I didn't mean to," Hux explained.  
"It's okay," I laughed it off.  
We walked again, this time we were trailed along by two guards in white armour - the same armour I had been chased in.  
We stood outside a large set of sliding windowless doors and His nodded to me, gently nudging me to step inside.  
"When you're finished you can choose to come back to my chambers or your cell." Hux said, monotonously before walking away - his guards following promptly.  
I sighed and stepped through the doors, preparing myself mentally - wondering if I should turn on my heels and walk out.  
"You came," Kylo's voice boomed through the room as he stepped towards me.  
"You told me to," I sighed making my way to him as he stood his ground, "so what are we doing today? What're we training for?"  
"Here," he handed me over a long white pvc like tube with a thicker handle - it was as heavy as Kylo's light saber. His hands dwarfed mine as he fixed my postiiton on the stick.  
"When you hold it, pretend it is your arm - an extension of your own self. It can never touch you but you need to hold it close to you." His voice resonatedwith every cell in my body, I could feel it vibrate throught the walls and floor of the room. I swung the pipe around flimsily before Kylo paused me and showed his own prowess off, the pipe moving through the air swiftly and effortlessly in a rythmic song - fast for the chorous and slow for the verse with sudden beats where he would thrust it into the air with such force the air would woosh.  
"Let's start easier," Kylo said, not an ounce out of breath.  
We played, like children in a fort - swinging our sticks like swords getting a jab at eachother when possible. This progressed into some sort of wrestling scuffle. He had the strength but I had the centre of gravity - I knew he was still holding back, which I was grateful for. Grappling at eachother; my arms tightly wound around the top of his legs and his around my back.  
Finally with a large and valiant shove from me, Kylo toppled over bringing me down with him.  
Erupting in laughter, I remained on top of him - feeling the beating of his chest with every giggle.  
He tucked my hair behind my ear as it fell upon his face and smiled at me his eyes wet from laughing.  
"You're not too bad at fighting," he whispered.   
"You're not too bad either, Mister. " I complimented him back ruffling his hair into a mess and then stroking it back in place. Kylo's lips curved upwards in a soft smile and he licked his lips, before pulling my head up. Quickly he locked my my head between his thick trunk like arms and ruffled a fistful of my hair in a playful manner - the room was filled with laughter - my muffled begs for him to cut it out covered by my own fits of laughter.   
"You haven't fought before have you?" Kylo finally let me go and sat me down next to him.  
"Well I mean I've had disputes. But thankfully never had to resort to ye old fist and floor method," I laughed, throwing a few fake jabs at Kylo's face. "My brother used to teach me how to defend myself. Just enough to escape with my life."   
"I can teach you how to fight to win." He offered - the deepness of his voice carressing my ears.   
"Oh can you now? How do I know YOU can fight to win in the first place, eh?" I teased him.   
"Are you doubting me?" He leaned in - a subtle growl in his voice.   
"I was joking, Kylo." I nudged his shoulder with mine, "I'd love to learn to fight. You guys don't seem to have a gym so I guess you'll just have to be my personal trainer?"  
"Personal trai?- Look, you'll learn to fight." Kylo smirked, quickly brushing off the fact that he seemed absolutely confused to the idea of a personal trainer.   
"And if I dont?" I smiled at his stubbornness.   
"You will." He nonchalantly stated.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry! I've been struggling with a lot this year so i havn't been uploading at all but i hope you like this chapter.

He suddenly froze, his eyes seemed to become distant all of a sudden.  
“Hey, you okay?” I whispered cautiously, “Kylo?”  
Eyes becoming glossy and full of life again, this time his brows furrowed with concern or anger - I couldn’t tell. Jaws clenched, sweat beginning to bead out of no-where, he quickly stood up - his height once again dominating me by keeping me sheltered with his shadow.  
“I’ll see you.” Kylo’s long legs carried himself out of the room as fast as he had switched moods. I was beyond confused.   
What made him this way? He was so on and off - so unpredictable. Well i had only known him for such a short duration, it made sense for me to not be used to him. Kylo was so volatile, It was hard. Hux on the other hand was more of a hermit, he was lovely but also shy - a complete juxtaposition of the frightening general I had met upon my first seconds of consciousness in this world, In this base that they called Starkiller.  
I sighed and laid back on the foam mat, wanting to melt into the surface. This was all too much - I thought I was adapting but I wasn’t. Not at all.  
I missed earth, I missed my overpriced shabby apartment that I rented out with my overly loud but charming roomate, I missed my cats, I missed going to work and cuddling all sorts of creatures that turned up that day, I missed normal (emphasis on normal) food and fuck it, i’d say that i even missed the boring hour long commutes.   
My eyelids felt heavy - I couldn’t help it. It seemed I had in fact managed to melt into the mat as I was unable to defy gravity to lift any of my limbs to move.   
I slowly felt myself succumbing to my fatigue.  
_____  
I woke up a soft hand hesitantly tapping my arm. I slowly roused up and opened my eyes, closing them quickly back after the bright lights aggressively flooded into my pupils.   
“Wake up.” A soft voice whispered. My eyes finally adjusted and I made eye contact with a blonde man in armour that was as white as a ghost. “You need to move, we need to train.”  
The fog in my brain cleared up instantaneously as I looked around to dozens of armoured legs around me - some tapping impatiently, others stood strong and confident. I quickly scrambled up, collecting myself as I blabbed incoherent noises - trying to focus on leaving rather than the intense embarrassment that make my body hot and anxious.  
“Wrong way,”I heard a voice go - the ground should have swallowed me whole. “I’ll see you around sleepy lady,”  
God I hope not - i flushed trying to forget.   
I rushed to Hux’s quarters - I would’ve gone to my cell but I needed to wash. His room was also far better than my own.  
I quickly rushed to his bathroom and gave myself a quick shower as fast as I could - letting the water wash away all my previous emotions and confusion. The running hot water was a comforting hug and Hux’s strong soap was a sharp reality - it smelt like him.   
I quickly wrapped up in the towel that was there (Hux wouldn’t care, I hope not at least, god i should’ve asked him to use his bathroom) and stepped into the kitchen. I was hungry.  
Ravenous. For a homely comfort meal. 

I decided that I would make Hux his dinner too - as a thanks. I scrounged his kitchen for things I was familiar with. I found a soft maroon powder that was floury but smelt sweet, blue milk (it wasn’t off I had checked multiple times) bright purple eggs, normal sugar, salt - tasting everything else in the kitchen would’ve taken too much time so I carried on with these that i had found.   
I would make pancakes with browned sugar syrup. Weird, purple pancakes but pancakes nevertheless.   
I never realised how much colour affected my mental taste buds - but it really did. I don’t know if I could stomach drinking just blue milk.   
I quickly prepared the batter and syrup, letting it cool down and settle.  
Running back to Hux’s room to change back into my regular clothes, I found Hux sitting there alertly - almost expecting my return.  
“Hux, Sorry! I robbed you of your towel!” I apologised, holding it towards my body rushing over to gather my (well technically his) clothes.   
“What’re you making?” He asked curiously, “I didn’t want to interrupt, lest I disrupt you.”  
“Pancakes! I don’t know if you’ve had them before but they’re awesome. More morning food but it’s okay for dinner, I swear!” I smiled softly, he was so cute - he thought he’d disrupt me.   
“Hungry?” I asked him.  
He slowly nodded.  
“I want to try it.” He tentatively said.  
“It’s not done yet,” I whisper shouted from his bathroom, frantically getting dressed and double checking the tub to see if I had left any stray hairs behind. “But you can come and watch or even help me!”

We moved to the kitchen together and I set the pan on the stove. I gave him a gentle look that showed him that I did not know how to operate it - it had too many buttons!  
He swiftly moved his pale hands over them, igniting a roaring flame.   
“Smaller flame, please Hux.” I could feel the heat of the flame kiss my skin, before it finally faded out into a medium small flame - just smaller than the pan.

With two spoons I carefully ladled on two eyes and a smile to make a smiley face pancake before spooning on more batter to make the face complete. Hux kept watching me in awe, interest and curiosity. I finally made the final pancake - a heart shaped one for him. 

“You cook like an infant.” He whispered.  
“Hey!” I jabbed him teasingly, “it is a kids meal but it’s nice.”  
I poured the syrup on his stack and then mine - he grabbed the rest of the cutlery we needed to eat, his ginger hair still swept back in it’s formal state.  
When he arrived back, i leaned over my seat and ruffled his hair, lossening it from it’s strict formation to become fluffy and slightly mess - a few strands falliing over his eyebrows as his eyes remained locked on my hands.

He took a bite, syrup slightly dripping his mouth as he quickly wiped it away with his sleeve.   
Hux’s eyes brightned up as he slightly bobbed his head up and down.  
“This is sweet.” He commented as I kept looking at him for some sort of approval, “it’s good. I like it.”  
“You’re the infant for liking the infant cooking,” I claimed before digging into my plate.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Let me know how you like it so far! Thank you!

“Kylo did this thing where he just froze and ran off - “ I raised this issue or rather query with Armitage. He looked towards me from his steady gaze on his book.  
“That’ll be Supreme Leader Snoke - the force will alert Ren when he is to be present for him,” Hux’s smooth voice resonates in my ears, he slowly puts his book down on the armrest then allowing his hands to settle on the top of my legs that were draped across his lap. “Nothing to worry about.”  
“Who’s Supreme Leader Snoke?” I pushed him just a little further for information.  
His eyebrows furrowed for a split second, even then it sent an unexplainable little fear up my spine.  
“You don’t need to worry about him for now. I had eavesdropped the day you arrived here - didn’t Ren say he couldn’t feel you.” He turned the questions back on me.  
“He said it was like I didn’t exist.” I recanted that day - it seemed like forever ago now.  
Hux’s eyes were glazed over, he wasn’t present with me anymore - he was deep in his own thoughts - thinking away. He quickly gave my knee a squeeze before coming back to talk to me.  
“How is this possible, If everything in the galaxy is connected together by the force how come you have no ties to it -” He glanced at me as if I had the answer.  
“I don’t know how any of this works,” I sighed, slowly closing myself to visualise what the force would look like. I was overwhelmed by the amount of thin, delicate yet indestructible strings tying everything to everything. This was so strange, then i imagined myself with none - i was loose, I was unhinged, I was technically the freeset out of them all despite ironically being a prisoner in their land.  
“You could be dangerous,” Hux’s breathless whisper shook me out of my little daydream - his eyes glistening with a sort of sheen. A thin smile appearing on his lips as he shuffled closer to me. “You’re not like any of us - but it could be good.”  
I didn’t understand his excitement but it relaxed me - It was okay to be this way for now. Armitage was happy so I guess i should be too.  
“Can I get a job?” I asked out of the blue.  
“A job?” Hux asked me, quizzically.  
“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind doing something to keep me busy. Just anything but sitting around all day.” I sighed, If I was here I might as well do something, right? I was always a person with a purpose - I had to wake up for something.  
“I’ll see what I can do, we’ll have to keep you low profile though,” Armitage seemed to warm up to the idea fairly quickly, his head nodding in agreement as his hair bounced up to mimic his movements.  
I exhaled in happiness - the prospect of settling in here was looking up.


End file.
